I'm a different person compared to who I was this time last year...

All my life I've been very intuitive. It's a terrible thing to have this aching in your gut and you hope you are going to be wrong, but knowing in the end you'll be right. And then once life proves you right you are further frustrated because you still wish you could/should/would have done things differently. Well I'm tired of that frustrated feeling. I refuse to fight that intuition. I refuse to not accept my feelings, resulting in bitterness, anger and regret. I refuse to prepare for the sadness I've come to expect in my life.

This year has been quite crappy for my family and I. With many an illness or death we've had to deal with, on top of the financial pressure we are facing like everyone else. Not to mention the horrible tragedies that have increased in number and scope on the news this year. A sign of the times we are living in. And though we tried to prepare for everything as best we could. This year has been cruel to us and we have been cruel to ourselves in kind. But now that the worst of it is over we can finally try to see the good that we've been left with.

The new motto my dad has adopted is, “Someone else always has it worse.” Despite the not so cheery tone that you may or may not associate with that, it's really true. For all the big (and little) problems, trials, or complaints we face things aren't as bad as they seem. We're surrounded by blessing big (and little). Every. Single. Day.

The problem is do we look at them? Do we take the time to see/feel/experience/appreciate them? And do we let the bad things outweigh the good?

Image source: Society6

Now as imperfect people it's hard to look past the bad. It stings so sharply and feels so fresh in our easily tickled memory. But I can GUARANTEE you that for every bad memory, thought, lapse in judgement, or mistake made there are at LEAST 10 things you and I have to be thankful for. Including the lesson learned from the perceived “bad” thing we are staring down.

Because it is not terrible. It will never be something we cannot overcome. The struggle is just a sign that we are living. In fact if there is nothing working against us in our lives then we really are doing something wrong.

So despite all of the trials faced this year and bouts with pity parties, stress cooking and isolation. I am determined to not let those moments define me. Many a good thing has come out of this year.

I'm hardly an optimist, but I do believe that it is possible to become one. And going back to my intuitiveness I have a severely intense gut feeling that this year is going to be full of well-deserved and necessary change in not just my life but also in the lives of the ones I love.

My best friend would attest to the fact that every year I say that this year things will get better it has to. And things in general have not. Every. Single. Time. But there is a reason why. We have been sitting around waiting for things to get easier, better, simpler, and waiting on that delusion would keep us waiting forever. We have to make this year better. Force it's hand. Get the better of it. Be proactive. That is what makes this year different for me. That is why in my gut I feel (know) it will be.

We have never been determined to make it better before. But this time we are. We have faced the reality that things will get harder and it will be difficult and change is hard to accept but if we fight to have the happiness and success we deserve then life will have no choice but to follow suit.

So I am resolved, no, I choose, to make my life what I want it to be and to feel how I want to feel this year. And when I feel my gut is telling me something, I'm going to listen and make wise decisions, not letting fear and regrets hold me back.

This year is going to be everything I hope for. My hopes and dreams will come to fruition if not because of my determination, it will be because they are well defined and planned for. And if/when things don't turn out the way they are at first arranged I'm going to accept it and see the value in things falling apart.

2013 is going to be a year of change for better or for worse.

For some of my friends I see it as a stepping stone into a new future.

Some are on the cusp of things that verge on magical, for lack of a better term.

Some are going to stay stagnate.

But it is my goal to be an “eternal optimist” or determined dreamer and to encourage others to do the same. There is so much potential for us to be as great as we dream we can be if we just seize that dream and cement it to our future. So through all the ups and downs that 2013 may bring I am ready to face them knowing I'll come out victorious.